If you’re constantly bringing work stress home with you, read this

Metacognitive Therapy (MCT) offers a practical approach to managing work stress by challenging the unproductive thinking patterns people often engage in.

The problem with under- and over-regulating thoughts and thinking processes

Work-life balance issues often stem from two common tendencies: under-regulating and over-regulating work-related thoughts. Under-regulation is at play when excessive work-related worry and rumination spill over into our personal time, and it feels like you can't stop it. People may replay stressful meetings, worry about upcoming deadlines, or mentally rehearse conversations. That continuous loop can leave you emotionally drained and distracted with your loved ones.

On the flipside, over-regulation happens when you rigidly try to suppress work-related thoughts during your personal time. Common advice like 'leave work at the office' can backfire when people try too hard to block out their work concerns: The more they push work-related thoughts away, the more persistent those thoughts become.

Achieving mental flexibility

To break free from these cycles, Metacognitive Therapy promotes psychological flexibility, which means allowing work-related thoughts to come and go naturally, without being consumed by them. The goal shouldn’t be to eliminate all of our work concerns, but to choose when and how long to engage with those thoughts. MCT helps you realize that you are in control of how much you worry or ruminate over them. 

For instance, if a helpful work-related idea pops up at home, it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the thought and decide whether to spend a few minutes jotting it down and reflecting on it, or to set aside time to deal with it later. The key is knowing that you're in the driver’s seat of your mental engagement, rather than engaging with work thoughts in a way that makes them feel urgent and uncontrollable.

Breaking the rumination cycle

At the root of most work-life imbalance is rumination. When people dwell on work problems at home, they may feel guilty about not being present for their loved ones. And if they ruminate about personal issues at work, that can hinder productivity and increase stress.

MCT can help you recognize these unhelpful thought loops and reframe them as a 'worry problem' rather than a 'work-life balance problem.' By shifting your attention away from unproductive thinking that affects your home life, you can break free from the mental tug-of-war between work and your personal life. 

The myth of perfect balance

A common pitfall we often see is the pursuit of achieving 'perfect' work-life balance. This unattainable goal causes many people to constantly monitor how balanced their lives feel, scanning for signs that they’re neglecting work or family responsibilities, and adding pressure to do more or less. This constant self-evaluation can become its own source of stress at both work and home.

In reality, life’s demands naturally ebb and flow, making balance a shifting target rather than a fixed state. Instead of striving for perfection, recognize that balance will fluctuate, and this is completely normal. Choosing a flexible mindset over a perfectionist mindset can help reduce stress in all areas of your life. 

Building flexible boundaries

Creating work-life boundaries is still important, but MCT encourages flexibility over rigidity. Any extreme, whether it’s constantly checking emails after work hours, or banning yourself from looking at your work phone at home, can cause problems. With a flexible approach, checking a few work emails in the evening doesn’t have to become a problem if it’s done with intention and time limits. And being fully present with family doesn’t mean suppressing every work-related thought that crops up — it means managing when and how to engage with them. You can be present with your family even if you have negative thoughts about work.